Ever wonder what happens to a relationship when the other person becomes your idol? I do. Been there, done that. I hopefully have learned something! Today, I would like to share my gleanings moving from the harmful effects of idolizing my spouse to experiencing the benefits of releasing him from this austere position.
“Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back.” ~Curiano.com
3 Ways to Promote More Effective Communication with Your Spouse:
- Attune to yourself- ask yourself how your heart has been impacted today, inviting a more emotional response within the context of story- facts and narrative. Being in a healthy relationship with yourself helps you know who you are offering to others, as well as for others to know with whom they are relating.
- Attune to your partner- be present, grounded, and able to notice what your partner is saying or who/how your partner is being; to be truly ‘seen’ by your partner – the good, bad, & the ugly- all held with kindness
- Attune to your relationship- hold healthy boundaries that promote clear communication around your strengths and weaknesses while staying present with your partner; an iron sharpening iron type of experience; 1 whole + 1 whole = 1 Mysterious whole
Matt 22:37-40; Col 3:12; I Pet 3:9; I Pet 2:23; Phil 2:3-4; Gal 6:1; Col 3:13; Eph 4:32; Prov 27:17; Col 3:14; Eph 5:25-33
It is important to first focus on doing work on yourself and your relationship with God, followed by working on your relationship with your partner and relationship. Marriage/relationship counseling might be a helpful asset here. Once a year, do something to invest in your relationship with your partner. Areas that may need further attuning will likely surface- to self, God, and with your partner.
Rom 12:2; Ps 46:10; Rom 12:3; I Cor 4:7; I Chron 16:11; Prov 8:17; Jer 29:13