Ever wonder what makes or breaks a relationship? We need to pay attention to our mouth, mind and mannerisms while noticing what negative behaviors we dislike the most done to us and what negative behaviors we tend to do to others. What behavior will you commit to stopping today?
“Jealousy only eats up your beauty. Have more faith in yourself, you got something that other people don’t.” ~ Unknown
Part of your loneliness in relationships may have to do with how you promote or place blocks in your relationships. Consider the following areas in your life that may be harming your relationships.
- “To answer without a question feels like manipulation or control. To help someone without a struggle feels like interference. And to give direction without a desire to learn feels like oppression.” ~ Unknown
- Answering questions or reaching out to help without the other indicating a desire for assistance. This can set up a codependent situation.
- ‘One upping’- sharing a like story or a bigger story than what the other just shared. Often this leaves the one who initially shared as feeling ‘one upped’.
- Gossiping and Lying- stretching the truth; use your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to improve communication clarity.
Prov 26:22; Prov 10:19; Prov 17:9; Prov 25:23; 2 Tim 2:16; Prov 11:13; Eph 4:29
- Failure to Listen Well- not using eye contact/reflective listening; being distracted by personal technology/environment/other
- Always Giving/Always Taking
- Always Sharing/Always Listening- Voyeuristic Tendency- your need to share or hear a great story, but never sharing from your own personal life/experience(s).
- Judgmental- meddling in someone’s life/story
- Assuming/Making up Stories- not considering facts and feelings
Prov. 18:2; Prov 18:13; Prov 12:15; James 1:19; 2 Cor 5:10; Matt 7:1-29; 2 Tim 2:24-26
- Demanding your friend to like/think/believe the same as you
- Not Dependable- not responding/showing up
- Only supportive during the Good Times or Bad Times
- Having Weak Boundaries
- Idolizing your friend over your family or relationship with God
- Unhealthy- physically/mentally/spiritually
- Isolating your Best Friend over other friends
- Find it impossible to say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to a friend
- Placing Demands on your friend
Rom 12:16-19; Luke 16:10-12; Is 57:12-13; Lev 19:15; Phil 3:18-19; Matt 5:37;
Consider the following questions for each of the 3 categories above: Mouth, Mind, Manners:
- Which do you dislike the most when people do to you?
- Which is your tendency to do to others when you feel upset/other?
Take notice of what happens when you make changes in how you relate to your friend. Consider what happens in you or the other person when you implement these changes?